Turn Your Back to the sunset
by Creating Myths
Summary: Kaworu's wishes and laments to Shinji set to the YYH song sung by Hiei "Tasogare ni se wo Mukete". The styles's a bit loose and a but uncoordinated, but I wanted to see what people thought. Up to interpretation. Constructive criticism appreciated.


Turn Your Back to the Sunset

A Songfic(?) by the Kitsune-yasha

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Author's Ramble:

Hah! So this is the way it is! After months of being "in retirement" (thought I prefer to say "in the shadows"), I decide to reemerge with…a songfic?! Oh well…I've been listening to this YuYu Hakusho midi non-stop for the past hundred hours and I thought how spiffy it would be as a song for an EVA fic. So here are the results. 

The song, for the curious, is "Tasogare ni se wo Mukete" (or in English, "Turn Your Back to the Sunset"). It's a Hiei song so it's depressing (like "Kuchibue ga kikoero" ("I Hear a Whistle") for any YYH fans out there who are familiar with the songs.). The fanfic is depressing too :(

Legalities: Um, Hidaeki Anno owns Evangelion. The dude who married Naoko Takeuchi (the chick who created sailor Moon) owns YuYu Hakusho. I don't know who wrote the song. Hiei's voice actor sings it, though (Ah! I only know ONE voice actor/tree on that show and it's Ogata Megumi! Forgive me!).

Warnings: With a title like this, it can be only on this- ANGST!

Ha ha ha….Yeah….

Things in italics are lyrics.

Oh, it's the translated lyrics, btw. Not everybody can understand Japanese ;) 

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Ah... Now, like going against 

The flow of people on the streets 

I go on walking alone 

Pain. Is that all life is? No. I know that there is more to this foolish existence on earth. There's love, joy, anger, sorrow. I can feel all these things, ne? But right now I feel pain. It separates me from you, from everybody. I am alone in my pain.

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That precious smile 

I lost sight of amidst the distant days

Is etched in my heart 

Did I make you happy? I know I caused you pain when I betrayed you. This saddens me. But tell me, please; did I ever make you happy? Just once in your life? My mind can't remember if I ever made you smile. I'm sure my heart knows. 

I thought I saw you smile before. Was it a dream? Or was it at somebody else? I couldn't have been at me. When I found you, you were sad. You were distraught with your own grief. The grief I can remember. But the smile….? Did it ever really exist?

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Never Give Up 

Even if sadness 

Tries your heart 

No matter how many times, surpass time 

Never Give Up 

Amidst the winds 

Turn your back at the sunset 

I shall follow wherever it is 

Lonely Way 

I don't want you to be sad. Not now, not ever again. I caused you sadness and pain, yes, but please forget me and turn your back to your memories of us. Don't include me in your dreams, your realities. We could never exist in the same world, you and I. I don't belong here and you don't belong to me. You belong to others. Give your heart to them, and you'll find happiness. Just, please, forget me. I'll continue to watch you from my lonely post. I'll continue to weep while you laugh.

Please.

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Ah... Frozen feelings 

Without thought of someone's kindness 

Also swayed that time 

You know, she loves you. She won't admit it, but she truly does. True, she's not kind as I was to you. True, she screams at you, insults you, plays with your heart, but beneath it all, there is a love for you frozen and set apart from the rest of her.

You're one of the only people who have showed patience and kindness to her. She has a secret love for this, she does. Go after her. Pursue her, and like Orpheus, bring her back from the Underworld and into the light. 

I'll be watching you, praying for you, hoping that you can keep hold of her.

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With closed eyes, only muttering 

Pulling out a spear 

That does not suit me 

If you think I'll be angry that you give her your heart, you're wrong. I'll be happy. It will give me more pain, though, to watch you love her and grow old with her, but I am the wretch that deserves all the pain the world throws at me. I'll just close my eyes and think of how happy you are. I won't be angry. I'll never be angry.

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Never Give Up Now 

Only hang on to your dreams while 

Being led by fate 

Never Give Up 

Turn your back at the aimless sunset 

I shall walk towards tomorrow 

Lonely Way 

I won't be angry…I won't cry. Now, please forget me and live your life. I'll always be here, but in a way, I'll always reside secretly in your heart. Maybe we'll meet face to face again. Who knows? Maybe someday in the morrow I'll see that smile I seem to have dreamt. The smile will be or her, but I'll still cherish it in my heart. 

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Never Give Up 

Even if sadness 

Tries your heart 

No matter how many times, surpass time 

Never Give Up 

Amidst the winds 

Turn your back at the sunset 

I shall follow wherever it is 

Lonely Way

I won't be angry. I won't cry…

But I am crying.

~Owari

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Hey! Hot damn! It's snowing outside! Wow…I can never be depressed when it snows, even after finishing this. 

I recognize that this is up to interpretation, but please don't flame me over _your_ interpretation of my words. ^_^ Remember, I've just "come out of retirement". I've had a lot of time to think, a lot of time to change. So if you think this is a yaoi or a bish-ai and you flame me over it, then that says a lot about your thought process and you may want to reevaluate what you think and say. You maybe surprised what you find out about yourself ^_~

And now, I leave you with some advice from Neil Gaiman:

"Never apologize. Never explain"

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